


Limerence

by Anonymous_Ostrich



Series: Siren AU [3]
Category: Free!
Genre: Interspecies Sex, M/M, Makoto's POV, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Paranoia, Possessiveness, Underwater Sex, siren au, yandere!makoto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-18 15:54:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3575129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous_Ostrich/pseuds/Anonymous_Ostrich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year after Makoto left Iwatobi behind, he and Haruka are living comfortably in a small fishing town. When Makoto starts seeing suspicious figures around town, he has to decide whether their presence is a threat to his relationship with Haruka or simply an invention of his mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The ocean is active tonight. It seems as though it's been sleeping for weeks, timidly avoiding too much movement - it's greatly helped deter fierce winter winds, so I absolutely can't complain. I can't imagine that the ocean enjoys the cold. From the surface it looks as though life has come to a complete standstill; all of its creatures flee to the warmer depths and abandon the surface, waiting for spring and summer to return. Fish are cold-blooded. They won't freeze, but it must be harrowing to have to wait every year for the sun to warm the surface again.

It's the first night in quite a while that I've been able to walk home jacket-free. The closer I get to the ocean the cooler it becomes, but even at its coldest, today is a nice reprieve from the chilly winter days we've had. It's easy to see why the cafe was so slow today; if I hadn't been working, I might have been out enjoying it, too.

I hit the convenience store before heading for the docks. My home port is on the north side of the city, closer to the cliffs. As the sun begins lowering in the sky, my boat comes into view. I own a modest 27 foot Bristol fishing boat, previously owned but sturdy and thankfully not too demanding in its maintenance. Until recently I never thought I would be living on a boat, but honestly, it seems no different to me than having an apartment once you get used to the sometimes gentle, sometimes turbulent rocking when you're trying to sleep.

The living accommodations are actually roomier than my first apartment - a quaint, small dusty room above the cafe that my boss allowed me to rent from him for cheap - and being so far away from the town is peaceful. Even back then, I was spending my evenings and nights down by the ocean. It was merely a convenient way to live until I could save up enough money to buy my own boat with enough left over to pour into boat maintenance, monthly docking fees and intracoastal access.

That was a little less than a year ago, and already I feel like I've been a liveaboard my entire life. It feels strangely natural being surrounded by water.

I board the boat and set my things down, letting out a long sigh accompanied by a relaxing stretch. Work wasn't stressful in the slightest, but somehow it left me feeling lethargic. The lack of customers meant that I spent all of my time cleaning up the back rooms, which you can only do so many times before there's nothing left to clean, so it felt like a particularly lazy day.

Walking into the living area, I contemplate taking a shower. Chances are I won't be swimming in the ocean tonight on account of how cold it is, so I may as well. Besides, Haruka more than likely isn't awake yet; I have some time to kill before I head to our usual spot.

.

.

.

There's a thin strip of land that curls around the side of the cliffs, just out of view of the town and too far down the steep cliffs to see from above. It's the perfect place to spend time if one doesn't want to be seen. As evening wanes into night, I steer the fishing boat next to a cluster of jagged rocks near the coast and slow her down. Through the darkness I search for the elusive mooring ball I always use, finally catching a glimpse of it bobbing gently on the water near the rocks. I grab my boat hook and make a grab for the attached line, pulling the mooring ball my way. Months ago, I never would have expected there was so much to learn about boating aside from learning how to drive; it took me ages to learn how to properly tie a line to a mooring ball, and even longer to learn how to do it without chafing the line.

Once the boat is secure I throw a jacket on, grab my bag and hop out onto the cool sand, stumbling briefly on my right leg. It's already pitch black out here, the town far enough away that none of the light can reach out this far. Pulling a flashlight from my pocket, I navigate my way to my usual spot down the coastline. I shine my flashlight on a small pile of charred firewood from the previous night, and go about my ritual of replacing the wood with two new logs and starting a fire. Even though it's not as cold as it has been, the fire immediately relieves the chill of the night, and I sit down next to it, laying my bag off to the side. He'll be here soon. As I wait, I stare at the stars. It's a surprisingly clear night.

The familiar sound of water gently splashing tears my attention away from the heavens. I turn in the direction of the sounds and I'm greeted by Haruka's moonlit form, pulling himself out of the water. He doesn't look at me, but I've become familiar with this behavior over the last year.

"Hello, Haru-chan." I smile at him as he sluggishly pulls himself toward me and the fire, grunting in displeasure as he finally drops down next to me, laying his head on my knee. He clicks listlessly in reply. I laugh softly and place my hand on his head, no longer deterred by how freezing cold his hair and skin are. "Are you feeling well today?"

Haruka shuts his eyes, letting the fire warm his body. _Cold_.

"That's what you always say in the colder months. Aren't you happy that it's warming up a bit?"

 _Still too cold_ , Haruka murmurs grumpily, heaving a heavy sigh, gills fluttering.

"Do you want to warm up before we eat?" I ask gently, stroking his hair. He answers with a barely noticeable head nod. I smile and shut my eyes, basking in the warmth of the fire, content with running my fingers through Haruka's cold, wet hair.

I've learned that Haruka loses his appetite - and his motivation - almost entirely when his body temperature drops too low. I've come to learn many things about Sirens over the last year just from spending so much time with Haruka.

I discovered shortly after we left Iwatobi that Sirens don't do any kind of hibernation during the cold months. I wasn't sure what to expect when the snow started falling, but I immediately noticed a big change in Haruka's behavior. I asked him how he managed to keep himself going when the water was so cold, and Haruka divulged his winter method of escaping to warmer pockets of water far underground during the day and staying as active as possible at night. I admit to spoiling him, just a little; because of my nightly fire, Haruka tends to forgo unnecessary activity and get his energy back by warming up on the beach. Even after warming himself he tends to eat very little, but it's my understanding that Sirens only eat enough to sustain their energy reserves and their (vaguely super-human) metabolism.

Among the changes in Haruka's winter-time behavior, his sex-drive is another loss. The first winter was difficult for me, but it was nothing I didn't expect. I really can't complain. Sexual frustration is a small price to pay for being with Haruka, and when he's cold he tends to get ridiculously cuddly. I know it's my body warmth he's after, but that doesn't change the fact that it's outrageously adorable.

On the bright side, Haruka's heat reemerges aggressively in early spring. It's a harrowing wait, but I don't mind. The most important thing is being with Haruka, getting to see him and talk with him. Now that we've been together longer, I feel more confident in asking him questions, and most of the time, Haruka answers without protest.

 _Makoto. What is this?_ Haruka is gently yanking a scarf that is peeking out of my coat pocket. I smile and take it out for him.

"Another present," I say, holding it in front of him. "What do you think?"

Haruka inclines his head, closes his eyes and sniffs the scarf gently. His eyes snap open a moment later, his nose scrunching in apparent displeasure.

_Too many smells. I can't focus._

"I was afraid of that," I admit, balling up the scarf and stuffing it back in my pocket. "Someone left it at the cafe a couple of weeks ago. I was waiting until everyone had forgotten about it, but by then it had been passed around so much I was worried the original scent would be gone." I smile apologetically, sliding my fingers through Haruka's hair. "I'm sorry."

 _It's fine_. Haruka says, struggling to sit up. He stares into the fire, looking vaguely less sluggish than when I first saw him emerge. _I don't need a human right now._

"Even though it's starting to warm up?" I ask. "The last time you lured someone to the water was… Uhh, let's see..." My eyes roll upward in thought and I count on my fingers. "...two, two and a half months ago?"

 _I'm still full,_ Hakuka replies, patting his stomach for proof. _Mackerel is enough for me until Spring._

Another fault of mine is getting Haruka addicted to mackerel. In Iwatobi it was easy to get a hold of since schools of them lived around Iwatobi and were easy to fish, but here they're harder to find. The native fish are pollock, sardine, and anchovy; even though I own a fishing boat, it serves little purpose to fish locally for Haruka when he'd rather eat canned mackerel from the store. Sometimes I can get it fresh, but around here you're more likely to find it canned. Fortunately for me, Haruka doesn't seem to mind either way.

I open my bag and take out two cans along with a cup of instant noodles. Haruka's eyes glow with an almost unnatural intensity when he spots the cans of mackerel; I set my noodles aside and pull out a can opener, carefully opening the first can for Haruka and handing it to him. Despite the twinkle in his eye, he eats slowly.

I set up my iron kettle over the fire to heat up water for my noodles. I keep meaning to eat more nutritious dinners, but it's far too convenient to bring along something instant when I'm eating with Haruka. Plus, I never quite got my appetite back from the last few unpleasant weeks I spent in Iwatobi. Ever since moving here, I've had too many other things to think about and work toward; eating always ended up as an afterthought. My boss always makes sure I eat a good lunch, however, and quite a few times Haruka has made a point of telling me if I was losing too much weight. I've been better at taking care of myself these last couple of months; the last thing I want to do is worry Haruka.

 _There were men here today_. Haruka says casually, continuing to pick at his mackerel. My head snaps up, eyes round in surprise.

"Men? How many? What were they doing out here?" I ask, alarmed. It's unusual for anyone to wander into a Siren's area; as I predicted back in Iwatobi, a Siren's presence wards off potential passersby with passive sound waves. These places are usually avoided by humans without their knowledge, or they carry heavy off-putting vibes that humans sometimes confuse for supernatural phenomenon.

 _Three or four, I think_. Haruka answers, licking at the inside of the can. For a moment, I think he resembles a cat. _I'm not sure what they were doing. Poking around, it looked like_.

"Did you see them?" I ask in concern.

_They woke me up because they were hanging around longer than they ought to have. I surfaced far away. They left shortly after._

For reasons I can't explain, a cold chill sweeps through me. "Haru-chan, what did they look like?"

Haruka considers my question. Although he'd just seen them earlier in the day, it already seems like he had forgotten most of the important bits. He seems rather unconcerned, which would normally put me at ease, but tonight it doesn't seem to be helping. _Long dark coats. I couldn't see details at a distance._

Every conspiracy theory show I've ever watched flashes through my mind, followed closely by troupe-y F.B.I. agents and hard-faced, suit and tie 'Men in Black' type characters from popular American media.

Haruka tilts his head at me. _Is Makoto worried?_

I've never been very good at masking the emotions I'm feeling. Then again, it's possible that Haruka is simply sampling the current images in my mind.

"I guess I am…" I look up and stare into Haruka's eyes. "Haru-chan, do you know if any Sirens have ever been caught by humans before?"

 _Makoto is worried I'll be caught?_ Haruka asks me curiously.

"I can't help it! This is the first time you've ever mentioned people loitering around our area." I glance at the fire. "What if they saw the firewood I left here? What if they come back?"

Haruka tosses the empty can of mackerel aside and reclaims his spot next to me, pushing his head into my lap. My hand immediately rests on his head, and he clicks in approval.

_We can only be caught if we're dead. Even still, I've never heard of Another being captured. You walk with the humans, has Makoto ever heard of my kind being caught?_

"Well… No, I guess not." When I first met Haruka, my immediate thought was 'mermaid'. My later assumption that Haruka might be a Siren was a complete shot in the dark based on a single website I ran across. I suppose it's safe to assume that if a Siren was ever found, I most likely would have heard about it.

I sigh and try and relax. I'm worrying for nothing. Haruka can take care of himself, he's incredibly strong and has amazing abilities that are no match for any human. It's harder for him to ward people away during the colder months, so it's not that surprising that some people might wander by.

Haruka nuzzles against my leg, clicking softly in his throat. _Makoto doesn't need to worry. This is a good place to live. It's secluded and people like and trust you here. We can see each other without worrying about anything._

He's right, of course. Everything is absolutely perfect right now. I get to see Haruka all the time without sneaking around, hiding or upsetting anyone, and I can support the both of us easily. Haruka has plenty of food available, and I can devote myself to making him happy.

There's absolutely nothing to worry about.

I breathe in and out, in and out, repeating this to myself until I believe it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how long this one will be, I'm thinking it will be around the same length as Erotomania, maybe a little longer?
> 
> This one won't be quite as... Uhh, _rapey_ as the first, mostly because Makoto has relented to Haruka's desires completely by this point and never really upsets him. Not to say that some minor non-con stuff won't happen, so be wary.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto sees someone he used to know.

"Nanase-kun, if you're all finished back here you can head home."

I stop sweeping, glancing in surprise at the doorway where my boss has stealthily materialized. I had been so engrossed in my task and my own thoughts I hadn't even heard him come in. I'm also still not accustomed to my new surname. Even after a year, I have trouble reacting to it when I'm called.

Noticing my alarm, my boss smiles apologetically. "Did I catch you off-guard again?" he laughs. "I swear, I try and be as noisy as possible when I know you're alone back here."

Painstakingly erasing the shock from my face, I flush in embarrassment. "Sorry… It isn't your fault I'm so easily startled."

"Lost in thought?" my boss asks curiously.

"A little," I admit guiltily.

"Don't sound like that. Sweeping gets me all retrospective too, you know? As long as you're making the floor shine, there's nothing wrong with spacing out."

I smile, relieved, and take a gander at the floor of the kitchen. I hadn't realized, but I'd finished cleaning some time ago. The floor is as clean as it can get, and I suspect I'd been sweeping mindlessly for at least a couple of minutes before my boss had interrupted. Next, my eyes find the wall clock hanging above the sink. It's a little before my shift was meant to end.

"Did we close early today?" I ask, carrying the broom to the closet near the trash cans to hang it up.

"It's been a slow day. Everyone's out enjoying the nice weather."

A bang sounds from the front counter, and then the fast-approaching clacking of footsteps. I look up just as a girl bursts into the kitchen, her bright eyes immediately locked on me, sporting an excitable expression. My boss struggles to maintain his balance as she strides past him and into the kitchen.

"Makoto-kun! What are you doing after this?" she asks, immediately glancing at our boss, flashing him a bubbly smile. "You too, boss-man! I think the three of us should go out drinking!"

Both of us are more-or-less accustomed to Yoriko's assertive (borderline boorish) personality, so my boss merely sighs with a smile. "I guess I owe you a drink from the last time you had to cover me, don't I…"

Yoriko tugs absently at her shorter black ponytail. "I usually don't forgive old debts, but I'll make an exception in your case. I'll buy!"

"I definitely can't refuse if you're buying," my boss says, a sudden gleam in his eyes. It's no secret to anyone that our boss enjoys drinking, sometimes to a fault. Yoriko turns back to me, and I feel immediate pressure under her gaze.

"Well? How about joining us for once, Makoto-kun?"

There's a certain sting to her words although I know it's not intentional. I busy myself by grabbing the last of the trash from today that needs to be disposed of.

"Thank you for the invitation, but I have plans tonight," I offer with a feeble smile. Yoriko groans, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You _always_ have plans! If it's your girlfriend or whatever, just bring her along!"

"If I could, I promise I would," I say apologetically. Sensing my discomfort, my boss raps his knuckles against the door to gain Yoriko's attention.

"Don't harass Nanase-kun, Nagai-kun. If he has other plans, it can't be helped."

Yoriko's shoulders sag in defeat, and she tosses him a defiant pout. "But-"

"I'll take the trash out before I go, if that's alright," I put in brightly, brandishing the trash bag as proof, eager to leave this conversation far behind me. I manage to evade a suspicious stare from Yoriko as my boss smiles and nods.

"That would be great. Thanks for your hard work today."

.

.

.

The first official day of Spring is tomorrow. As I pass by the shrine on my way to the store, I stop, toss a coin and offer a prayer. I'm not really sure what it is I pray for. For Haruka's continued happiness, maybe? For a prosperous Spring? For Haruka to go into heat quickly so that I can stop needing to service myself nightly? Honestly, it feels as if I'm just going through the motions. It was such a habit back in Iwatobi, it's hard to pass by a shrine without stopping. Even if I could think of an appropriate prayer, I doubt I would be able to focus. What Haruka told me a couple weeks ago has been chewing at my brain. Sometimes I feel like I have it under control, and other days, like today, I can't seem to stop thinking about it.

I had never thought of anyone finding Haruka before, and all of a sudden the prospect has become possible. Haruka doesn't seem worried. I keep telling myself that. Not to mention, since the night he told me about those men on the beach, there's been no word of them since. It seems like a pointless thing to dwell on, but I can't help it. I feel like something's come over me.

As the sun begins to lower, I lament about not being able to shop at the morning market the last few days. I've been working earlier shifts, as lately most of our customers arrive in the morning either before or after they've done their shopping. This town is known for it's amazing morning market - sometimes over 200 stalls selling fish, vegetables and wares at a time - and although mackerel is one of the rarer catches around here, early Spring is the best time to find it. Schools of mackerel ride the Kuroshio Current to head for warmer water, which lead them right through our port, giving us a very short window to fish. I have the day off tomorrow, so I'm planning on waking up extra early so that I can get there before the crowds.

I don't spend too much time at the store. For tonight's dinner I steered myself away from instant noodles and settled for a brown rice and veggie instant dinner instead; I bought myself a microwave at the beginning of the year, so all I need to do is remember to zap it before I head to our spot. As I walk past the stores and the museum toward my home port, I make a mental note to buy more than just mackerel at the market tomorrow. I haven't eaten fresh vegetables or meat in a while, and although I'm not much of a cook, I think I need a little more nutrients than I'm getting.

As I mentally plan my day, a familiar figure catches my attention; blonde hair, small, lean frame, energetic disposition. I walk past him as he looks through a shop window, pointing out something to the woman he's with.

I try and keep walking but my feet trip over themselves and I'm floundering.

Nagisa.

It can't be. He can't be here. He can't see me. _How can he possibly be here._

My throat is dry and my thoughts are screaming in my ears. As the gravity of the situation dawns on me, I begin to shake. I can't stop. A piece of Iwatobi is here. A piece of myself from back then is here. He can't know that I'm here. _He can't see me,_ _ **I can't let him see me**_ -

"Oi, mister, are you okay?"

A voice breaks through the cloudy dissolution which has become my mind. Blearily, I look up, realizing that I really _did_ fall, and the blonde boy is leaning over me, face etched in a mixture of worry and utter confusion. I'm incapable of answering him.

It isn't Nagisa.

His hair is similar in style and color, but it isn't him. Upon closer inspection, he really looks nothing like Nagisa at all; his face is much more mannish and he's sporting a tacky soul patch. Even as the relief courses through me like a warm burst of sunlight that has spread all the way to my fingertips, I feel as though I'm coming apart. Shakily standing to my feet and murmuring a barely passable apology, I teeter away. My teeter becomes a run, and my run becomes a sprint. My heart pounding in my ears and my panic threatening to scream its way out of my mouth, I run toward home port, somehow maintaining the semblance of mind to hang onto my shopping bag.

.

.

.

"Haru-chan, are you going to eat your mackerel?" I ask, eyeing the untouched can sitting near the fire. The weather's becoming warm enough that a fire isn't entirely necessary anymore, but it still gives us light and entertainment; Haruka is endlessly fascinated with fire. He'd never seen it up-close until we started living here, and now one of his favorite things to do is throw more logs on the fire just to see them get swallowed up by flames.

 _In a bit_. Haruka responds, pressing his nose gently against my neck. His arms are draped over my shoulders and he's practically sitting in my lap, his long, heavy tail laying over my legs. His tongue slips past his lips and swipes at my adam's apple, making me inwardly shiver. I giggle.

"Do I smell particularly interesting right now?" I ask. He seemed immediately interested in me tonight, latching onto me almost as soon as I started the fire.

 _Mm_.

Not entirely sure if that's an affirmative or not, I simply allow him to do as he pleases, my hands resting on his beautiful tail. Haruka used to smell me to check and see who I was spending time with, but that behavior has gradually fizzled out. I don't spend time with anyone but him. Despite Yoriko's multiple invitations to spend time with me outside of work, I've never once accepted. Haruka is aware that I have to work, and he understands that most days I may come to see him smelling like my coworkers (though more often than not, I shower and change into fresh clothes before going to see him,) so he doesn't worry about that.

"Haru-chan?" A sudden question springs to mind as I catch myself reminiscing. Haruka is tracing his lips over the scars on my shoulder, the first marks he gave me. A gentle click from his throat asks me to continue my thought. "You told me once that Sirens don't like each other, right? They stay away from each other if they can?" It seems like a stupid question, in retrospect. The only interaction I've ever seen between two Sirens ended in one of them being killed.

 _Yes_.

"You told me that Sirens only intermingle to mate. I suppose I'm just curious… Is what we're doing.. Ahh…" Lately I've been feeling free to ask Haruka almost any question I could think of, but I'm finding this one a lot more difficult than I originally thought. "...do humans and your kind have relationships like ours often?"

 _Relationships?_ Haruka repeats the word back to me as if he's trying it out in his own language.

"Err… Do humans and Sirens _mate_ often?"

Haruka lifts his head to look into my eyes in understanding. His hypnotizing blue globes never cease to draw me in.

_I'm not sure. I don't know what other Sirens do._

I'm not sure what sort of answer I expected. "I guess what I'm asking is: how does your kind satisfy certain _urges_ without the help of other Sirens?"

Haruka blinks at me for a few moments before he realizes exactly what I'm asking. _I would guess there are lots of different ways. When the water gets warmer and the females begin laying eggs, we satisfy ourselves by fertilizing the females. If we're successful, our urges go away._

"Wait, _really_?" I feel more surprised than I probably should, given the nature of my question. "You mean that's all it takes?" Haruka nods stoically, as if it was obvious. It probably should have been. That's how heat works, after all. Another slightly more troublesome question comes to mind. "Ahh… In that case, Haru-chan… Have you, uhhh…" Haruka watches me with such a blank stare that I almost feel too humiliated to continue. "...have you ever... _fertilized…_ anyone?"

As if he expected my question to be a lot more complex, Haruka easily answers. _No. I never saw the point._

"Wasn't it painful for you, though?" I ask. "If you knew how to stop your discomfort, why not do it?"

 _It doesn't matter._ Haruka says dismissively, and to my surprise, he leans in, planting his cold mouth over mine. The feeling sends pleasant heat into my lower jaw and neck, spreading slowly downward on a predictable path. _I have Makoto. Makoto takes care of my discomfort. Mating over and over again is much better than just doing what's expected of you._

I eagerly slide my tongue into Haruka's mouth, groaning weakly against his lips, desperate for more of this heavenly sensation. It isn't as if I never get to kiss Haruka, but the nature of the kisses usually change along with his sex drive. This kiss feels unseasonally hot and earnest, and although I try not to assume his heat has returned yet, it's difficult to think straight as he kisses me slow and deep while wiggling in my lap.

After several breathless moments, Haruka pulls away, his hands holding the sides of my face and his eyes boring into mine.

_Makoto smells like stress._

My brain still furiously trying to pull itself out of the blissful daydream it had fallen into, I sputter in confusion.

"Mmm… Wha- huh?"

_Something happened today. What was it._

It's not a question, really, it's more of a demand. I shrink under his penetrating gaze.

"You can _smell_ stress?"

_Everything has a scent. Makoto also smells aroused._

"Well… ahh hah…" I'm not sure he needs to _smell_ my arousal, considering he's sitting in my lap.

_What happened._

I'm not sure whether he's cross at me for being stressed or if he's concerned and wants to help me talk it out; his expression is as deadpan as ever and his voice is hard to discern. Either way, if he wants to know, I can't refuse him.

"Ah… It was stupid, actually… Earlier, I thought I saw Nagisa in the shopping district. It wasn't him, but just for a split second there I thought it really was."

Haruka stiffens at the mention of the name. I haven't mentioned Nagisa or anyone else from Iwatobi since we came to live here. It was part of my vow to both myself and Haruka that I would leave everything behind and start anew.

 _Thinking you saw that human caused you to feel stressed?_ Haruka asks, as if he's trying to understand. I'm trying to understand, as well. At the time, I wasn't thinking clearly, nor could I properly identify exactly what I was feeling. Was it fear? Shame?

"Well, yes. If someone from Iwatobi were to run into me here, I feel like we would be in danger of being separated." A series of clicks erupt from Haruka's throat.

 _I wouldn't let that happen._ he says confidently. I smile.

"I know you wouldn't. Still, that's why I wanted to get away from Iwatobi to begin with. So if someone were to find me here... I'd…" I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say. How can I put it in a way Haruka could understand? I barely grasp it myself. I don't want to be the Makoto I was in Iwatobi. I wanted to change for Haruka, so that we could be together. If someone were to find me here, I'd have to face who I was. Even if Haruka and I went somewhere else, we'd be followed. I could never be free to be exactly who I need to be for Haruka. That's how I feel.

As I'm lost in my thoughts, Haruka wiggles off of me and begins unfastening my pants. I'm so distracted that I nearly don't notice until he's in the process of pulling out my dick.

"Wha- Haru-chan!" The gesture is more than welcome, but I can't help but be surprised. "Are you… _ahh…_ you know… _feeling it_?"

Haruka shakes his beautiful head, stroking my cock to hardness. His hands are still wet and slick, creating an absolutely mind-numbing sensation. _Makoto is stressed. This helps relieve stress, doesn't it?_

My mouth falls open and I stare at Haruka with round eyes. He's never attempted a sexual 'favor' for me before. I didn't think his species could understand the concept of doing something for someone without receiving compensation. I vaguely wonder if Haruka is adapting a more human mentality when suddenly his wet mouth slides over the head of my cock and everything goes hazy.

A sigh of pleasure tumbles from my lips and my hand raises to gently glide fingers through Haruka's hair. "H- Haru-cha...n… You don't have to, if y- you aren't feeling it…"

My cock is already flush against the inner walls of Haruka's mouth when he answers me. _Shut up_. he says grumpily, purposefully rolling his hot tongue up and down my length in defiance. I relent, gasping and moaning, doing everything I can not to buck into his inviting, smouldering warmth.

Haruka sucks me greedily into his mouth, consuming me to the base with ease. The head of my cock bounces off the back of his throat and I almost think I can come just from the sensation. My pleasure is building far more quickly than usual, most likely due to how long I've gone without, and I worry I won't last long. Haruka's mouth feels too good and the gentle, wet slurping sounds he's making as he sucks me combine into a fuzzy euphoria that's pushing me rapidly to the edge. My fingers tangle in his hair and I gasp out his name, feeling my impending release approaching like a bullet train.

"Ha- ru-chan… _mmmf, aah_ \- … I'm… g-going to…"

In response, Haruka doubles his efforts, taking me deeply, the tip of my cock squeezed around the hot walls of his beautiful throat. I let out a hoarse cry as he deliberately lets loose a string of low clicks, vibrating my entire length from head to hilt. I throw my head back and helplessly claw at Haruka's back and shoulders, water gathering in my eyes. It's too much. My orgasm is building in my stomach, ready to overflow, but I'm not ready to relinquish the pleasure.

I come deep in Haruka's throat, my hands reclaiming their spot in his smooth black hair. His lips clamp firmly around my spasming dick, eagerly swallowing every spurt of sticky thickness I can produce, which, as it turns out, is quite a lot. I hold onto him as I expel the rest, my breathing coming out in short gasps and whines.

As my bones collectively turn to jelly I release Haruka and brush my hands through his hair as a silent apology for all my hair-grabbing. Haruka doesn't seem bothered. He sits up and stares me shamelessly in the eye while swallowing the rest of my come, purposefully showing off his throat so that I can see. I flush in embarrassment.

 _Does Makoto feel better?_ Haruka asks curiously, tilting his head. I manage a weak smile.

"I feel great, Haru-chan… Just being around you makes me really happy, so you don't have to worry so much." I reach out and touch the side of Haruka's face, rubbing my thumb gently over his cheek. He closes his eyes and clicks, his tail flopping gently in the sand.

I realize why thinking I saw Nagisa put such a scare into me.

Recently the thought of losing Haruka was put in my head, and no matter how improbable it is, it still exists. Ever since Haruka told me about those men in dark coats, I've been on edge. Seeing Nagisa was just a symptom of the worry that's been on my mind.

I would do anything to protect my life here with Haruka. If something were to happen that threatened our happiness…

 _Makoto, open this for me_. Haruka is holding out the second can of mackerel, and to my surprise, the previously untouched can has been completely licked clean. Geez, was _I_ the appetizer?

"You seem to be getting your appetite back," I remark with a laugh, grabbing the can opener. "I'll have to start collecting items again soon, won't I?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They’ve come a long way from Haru trying to bite his dick off, haven’t they? #relationshipgoals


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto meets a cameraman and makes a mistake.

Everything is quiet, quiet.

I struggle to turn my head. It feels as though I've been frozen but I can't feel the cold - maybe 'petrified' is the better term - and moving any part of my body is tedious. I get the feeling of being surrounded by water, and although that would normally terrify me, I feel strangely calm. It's because I'm looking up at the sky. I don't have to face what's underneath. I could float here forever and never have to see the dark depths of the ocean.

Still, I try and move my head. I'm not sure why. I want to see what's next to me. Perhaps I'm here with Haruka. If I'm with Haruka, there's truly nothing to fear.

I turn my head to the right. There's someone lying next to me. It's an older woman, her face pale, his lips tinted blue. Her eyes are blank and staring above us at the endless sky. She doesn't move. I think she's dead. No, I _know_ she's dead. I recognize her now. She used to work at the museum. I ran inside the museum to escape an unexpected downpour and she'd loaned me her umbrella. I returned it to her the next day after I'd shown it to Haruka.

Strangers.

My neck creaks to the left. A young man this time. I struggle to remember him. The memory floods back when I notice his baseball cap. I'd been walking by the park when a baseball had come whizzing my way; I caught it just before it flew over my head. The young man was so impressed he told me to keep the ball, because according to him, he had 'plenty more'. Another present for Haruka.

All of them, strangers.

My neck is moving more easily now, but the rest of me still feels frozen. I look back up at the sky, breathing a deep sigh. If I don't know them, it doesn't matter. No matter how kind they are, how neutral, how cruel, how _human…_ In the end, it doesn't matter. I'm no longer a squid living amongst other squid. I'll give Haruka whatever he wants. His happiness is all that matters.

Something stirs next to me, and I feel a jolt of fear. These people - these strangers - they're dead. They shouldn't be moving, they shouldn't be doing things that the dead can't do. I turn my head to the right - my head moves easily this time - and what I see turns my stomach.

Nagisa. Pale and lifeless, just like the woman.

My breath catching in my throat, I turn my head away from the horrifying sight only to gaze upon another. Ren and Ran. Their eyes empty and staring, they too lay lifeless in place of the young man, their small hands clutching each other between their cold bodies. My chest swells with a scream fit to tear a hole across the peaceful sky.

.

.

.

I wake with a violent start and my head connects with the wooden beam above my bed.

Hissing in pain, I flop back down on my pillows, rubbing my aching skull. I must have jumped pretty badly to have hit my head so hard; I vaguely recall the events of my dream, and I suppose I can see why.

It's too early to get up, but the last thing I want to do is go back to sleep. Until the morning market opens, I decide to do a bit of physical therapy. My right leg still gives me trouble sometimes, and although the wounds have long since healed, I suspect there was muscle damage. When it's especially cold my leg acts up more than usual, though this last winter wasn't nearly as bad as the first.

My routine involves some simple stretches and low-impact exercise, something that I can easily do after waking up, though I still sometimes forget. After I finish, I rub my leg from the knee down with a specialized lotion that helps reduce scarring and repairs tissue. The long, jagged rose-colored scars disfiguring my calf are the only ones I actively try and reverse. The rest of them have been given to me by Haruka, and I treasure each and every one of them.

Lost in my thoughts, I almost don't realize what time it is until I glance at my wall clock. The morning market should be opening soon; I dress myself, get my things together and prepare to leave while struggling to pull myself from the strange haze that seems to have clouded my brain.

.

.

.

I'm buying six pounds of mackerel when I spot him.

The market wasn't as busy as I had expected, but the pleasant scarcity of people is more than likely a result of my arriving exceptionally early. As I wander the stalls and buy various foodstuffs, a crowd gradually replaces the quiet, and it's then that I notice the man in the long dark coat. It's too nice out to be remotely comfortable wearing such a heavy garment, I think to myself. He's checking his phone an awful lot, I think in addition. It's not quite bright enough to need sunglasses, I observe. You've become a little too paranoid, I continue to think. I watch him from the corner of my eye, my wandering suddenly finding a purpose as I carefully - and hopefully inconspicuously - trail him around the market, six pounds of freshly caught mackerel weighing my bag down, the shoulder strap digging into my shoulder.

What am I doing? Why am I doing this? Just because Haruka told me about men in long, dark coats doesn't mean I have the right to follow around anyone fitting such a vague description. Sure, it's a bit strange to wear something like that on such a nice day, but personal fashion choices doesn't make someone suspicious. Muting my internal struggle I continue to follow, praying to no one in particular that the fellow I'm pointlessly trailing will do something, _anything_ , to prove to me that he's normal. That he's just like everyone else.

The man raises his phone and suddenly snaps a picture. I stop by a nearby stall and watch him. What is he taking pictures of? The market? That's not terribly unusual, lots of people passing through like to take selfies here, or simply take pictures of the market at its busiest, but the man seems to be focused on snapping pictures of the main street that leads straight to the ocean. Just as my pulse begins to quicken with unfounded anxiety, I see the man reach into his pocket, take out something small and black and fit it into his ear. From my position I can barely hear him as he begins speaking with someone over blue-tooth; just as I start to wonder if I'm really anxious enough about this to get closer, he moves away from me and slips out of sight.

In a near-panic, I follow him, trying my best not to be obvious about it. For a moment I think I've lost him until I hear a voice having a one-sided conversation from the alley I'm about to pass. I step back so quickly I nearly trip. Shoving my shoulder against the building, I listen closely.

"...ocean, don't you think? The market is great and all, but I think what we're looking for is along the coast. The focus here is _mystery_ and _murder_ , remember? _Sirens_ and _magic_! …. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Tell him to think it over, I guess, but I already have someone over there looking around. We got some great shots the last time we were there. …. … Well, I think you'll change your mind when I show you what we've got."

My heart is racing faster than I've ever felt it. I'm positive my heartbeat will give me away, but I manage to let out a shallow breath and calm myself down, straining to listen.

"Mm. Yeah, I'll get him on it. I'm telling you, though, _the coast_. It's out there for sure. Hopefully we'll have some better shots from today that I can show you - maybe even some footage, we'll have to see if he gets lucky. …. Yeah, I'll call him once I've looked around a little more. Bye."

My heart stops in my chest once I hear the phone call end, and with reflexes I didn't even know I had I jump away from the wall and walk away from the alley so fast I nearly forget to breathe. I'm too scared to turn around for fear that he'll be behind me, but I'm not even sure how he could suspect me as anything other than an ignorant passerby. As I briskly walk away from the main street and head for the docks, I try and recall everything I heard. Sirens and magic, mystery and murder. He mentioned the ocean. The coast, specifically. He mentioned something they were 'looking for', and worse, that they got some 'great shots' when they had last visited. Could that have been when Haruka saw those men? Had they taken pictures of him when he'd surfaced? Would Haruka even be able to identify a camera if he saw one?

I try and convince myself I'm blowing things out of proportion, but it doesn't stop my feet from moving any more quickly. He said something about 'already having someone there looking around'. Is there someone over there right now? Is he looking for Haruka? What if Haruka surfaces again and they take more pictures of him?

Unable to purge the anxiety that's flowing into my brain like a sickness, I break into a run.

.

.

.

Today of all days, my boat's engine is acting up. I can hardly care about possible maintenance demands at the moment as I speed away from the port and towards the coast, trying my best to keep a cool head.

It's so rare for me to come all the way out here during the day, I nearly pass the rock formation where I usually moor my boat due to how unfamiliar it all looks. There's another boat nearby, a speedboat that is currently unmanned; my heart crawls into my throat. Along the strip of land that hugs the cliff-side I see a man, standing almost exactly where Haruka and I spend our time together, surrounded by what I can only assume to be camera equipment.

I have no idea what to do. I truly, honestly don't. Should I confront him? What can I possibly say to get him to go away? Furthermore, I'm not even precisely sure what he's doing here. Based on what I heard, he's likely filming. My heart clenches in my chest. He's trying to film Haruka. What if he's already gotten footage of him? Has he seen him, or does he intend to try and lure him out somehow…?

Without coming up with even a half-baked plan of action I grab my fishing gear and hop off the boat, heading up the coastline whilst gripping a heavy tackle box in one hand and balancing my fishing rod on my shoulder.

It's hard to act nonchalant when I'm fast-approaching the only other human within hundreds of yards, but somehow he doesn't notice me as I'm setting my gear down near the water's edge. I take a moment to eye his equipment as I feign lining my rod. He has two cameras set up on tripods and various audio devices strung between them, and currently he's meticulously fiddling with one of the cameras. He's dressed normally enough, wearing a t-shirt, khaki shorts, sunglasses and a baseball cap in lieu of a long, creepy detective's coat… It does little to calm me.

I clear my throat to announce my presence. The man jolts in surprise and turns to me, eyebrows upturned. He lets out a laugh.

"Oy! You scared me, I didn't see you there," he says, immediately turning back to his camera. "Doing some fishing?"

"Uhh… That's right," I say, still pretending to string my fishing rod. "Are you, uhm, filming something?"

"What gave it away?" the man laughs. He slides his sunglasses to his forehead for a moment while he adjusts the lens and stares through the viewfinder. "If you were planning to fish, I wouldn't get too comfortable; I'm taking wide shots now, but in a little bit I'll be recording some audio."

"What are you filming, if you don't mind my asking?" I ask quickly, perhaps too quickly. "Is it for a TV show or something like that?"

"A TV show, yeah," the man says distractedly. "A special, more like."

The man falls silent and I assume he's not interested in telling me more. My brain furiously tries to think of ways to get more information. "What kind of special? I'll be sure to watch for it when it debuts."

"Yeah?" The man pulls away from his camera and scratches the back of his head, re-adjusting his sunglasses. "You heard about the incident that happened last year in that small town, Iwatobi?"

My mouth goes completely dry and my pulse pounds in my ears. "The disappearances?" I ask, trying my hardest to stay calm. If I follow his questions and prove that I know enough about it, it's likely he'll keep talking. The man nods. "Are you here because similar disappearances have been happening around here?"

"Pretty much. Too many questions and not enough answers, am I right? The rumors and theories are really popular right now. Doing a special on the incidents will boost ratings like you wouldn't believe. People eat this kind of stuff up."

I laugh nervously. "Why film the ocean, then? Is there some kind of connection?"

The man grins. "You'll just have to watch the special to find out!" he says. Shit. I lost him.

"You don't _honestly_ suspect some kind of ocean creature, do you?" I ask with a smile. "I fish here all the time and I've never seen anything odd."

"Who knows?" the man says jovially. "You'll just have to watch our special to see what sort of shocking footage we collect!"

My blood is frozen in my veins. There is a distant buzzing in my brain that is making it hard to think. Have they already seen Haruka? Are they going to be filming day and night, waiting for him to reappear? Why isn't Haruka's influence working to repel these people? What should I _do_?

"Anyhow, I'll need you to move a little further down the coast. I'm gonna start recording soon."

I blink, so consumed by my thoughts that I nearly forgot I wasn't alone. "Oh, uh… Of course," As I reach for my tackle box I notice my fingers are trembling. I try my best to steel myself and think rationally. I'll come back tonight when the cameraman is gone and talk to Haruka about everything I've learned. We'll choose a new meeting place far away from here and wait for all of this to blow over. Once I talk to Haruka, I know I'll feel better.

"What the- Holy _shit_ , do you see that?"

I turn to see the man staring out at the water, sunglasses on the bill of his hat and his eyes wide and unbelieving. My heart drops into my stomach like a stone. The man points at the object of his disbelief, his face pale. "Is that-? Is it a man? No, it's… What the hell _is_ that?!"

I'm very nearly paralyzed with anxiety. I follow the man's gaze to the ocean and my jaw clenches. Haruka's head is poking just above the surface of the water, facing the coast. As I watch him, he turns his gaze, diving under the water with a flourish of his fanned tail.

" _Fuck_!" the man exclaims, his hands gripping his head. "Buddy, did you _see_ that?" I'm feeling too much raw panic to reply, but he's too surprised to notice or care. The man rushes to one of his cameras, his sunglasses toppling to the ground. "I think I caught that on _film_! I can't believe it!"

My gaze is torn away from the ocean and fixes on the man and his camera. This is too much. Right in front of me, Haruka was captured on film. Someone saw him that wasn't me. Haruka has always been my secret, someone only I knew about. He was safe. This all feels like a bad dream. What can I do? _What can I do_?

The sounds of the world around me spiral away and I'm left in silence. The beach is unsteady and blurry, the air thick and suffocating me, preventing me from getting a good breath. All I can hear is my own heartbeat coupled with my agonized thoughts. He's going to take Haruka away from me. That's all I can think about. As I feel the weight of the tackle box in my hand, my thoughts are focused on protecting Haruka. Protecting our life together.

There's a sting in my arm and I hear a crack and a startled grunt of pain. My vision is painted red. The tackle box isn't as heavy as I thought it was but my hand is throbbing. The man crashes to the ground under me, holding his head. I raise my arm and bring the tackle box down again. The sound it makes against his face is _horrible_. He yells out, putting up his arms to try and shield himself but it makes no difference. I bring the box down again. Again. The man makes a sound I've never heard come out of human before. Can humans make that sort of sound? It sounds so pathetic, so helpless. Almost like a baby.

I don't know how many times I hit him before the tackle box's latch pops open and spills many of the contents onto the beach. It doesn't matter, anyway. The man has stopped moving. I'm left standing over him, my heart beating its way out of my chest, breathing so hard I think I might pass out. The scene in front of me is shaky and unfocused, the sand stained red.

As I begin to regain my senses, the picture begins to unfold and the panic sets in. My fingers are curled so tightly around the handle of the tackle box I can no longer feel them. I look down as my vision begins to clear, and I withhold a horrified choke. What's left of the cameraman's face is so bloodied it no longer looks identifiable. His jaw is broken and cocked at an unsettling angle, several of his teeth scattered in the sand. I've never seen something so grisly in my life.

When I can finally move, I take a step backwards, dropping the tackle box. My legs lock up, sending me sprawling to the ground. Propped up on my arms, I stare in silence at what I've done. I don't move again until I feel sickness rushing into my throat so quickly that I have to turn away and vomit into the sand.

Panting, spitting and crying, I remain on hands and knees until I hear a familiar voice.

 _Makoto_.

I turn my head to face Haruka, who has pulled himself onto the sand and is staring at the body with cool indifference. "Ha- Haru-chan…. I…. I didn't-" My voice breaks and I choke.

Haruka's eyes are boring into mine with purpose. _Calm down_. His voice is calming despite the situation, though even in his soothing presence I feel as though I am steadily unraveling. _Tell me what happened_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto starts to see things in a new light.

It takes me several moments to catch my breath and ensure I won't be sick a second time. Letting a shallow breath blow through my dry, quivering lips, I quietly and shakily recount everything I can remember about the last few minutes. Haruka listens to me with an even, penetrating gaze. When I finish, his gaze sweeps to the body of the cameraman, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"What… what *hic* should I do, Haru-chan…?" I ask, suppressing a sob. "Does this make me a… a….."

_Makoto_. As usual, Haruka's voice cuts through my thoughts and silences me. I listen well, desperate for his advice. _Everything is fine. This is no different than usual, is it? The body won't be found. I'll take it away._

Relief floods through me but it's short-lived as new worries begin to crop up. "But Haru-chan… I… I _killed_ someone. He's dead because of me…! That's not… normal..."

_You were protecting me._ Haruka says, staring at me intently. _Are things really so different when you're ending a life with your own hands?_

He's right, of course. Haruka has lived like this his entire life. He's a carnivore in the purest sense of the term. Whether he's killing fish or humans, Haruka's survival has always deeply depended on taking the lives of others. I cough, bile stinging my throat. I adamantly hold it down, refusing to be sick in front of Haruka.

"It feels… different…" Another cough. "I understand that you have to eat, and I want to help you do what you need to do… but this… this was different, wasn't it?!"

I hesitantly glance at the man's body again, my brain still not accepting my actions as fact. I'm trapped in a surreal twilight of disbelief.

A hand on my cheek startles me back to reality. I know it's Haruka, but I still involuntarily jump, the contact feeling strange and foreign against my skin. I apologize by laying my hand over his, taking a deep breath.

_Makoto, there is nothing to worry about._ Haruka says to me, pulling himself closer and brushing his lips against mine. A sob catches in my throat, Haruka's words washing over me, consuming my thoughts. Needily I incline my head, catching his lips in a kiss and he gently reciprocates, taking a deep breath through his gills. He pulls away, wiping away tears I didn't realize were there.

"S-so… What do we do about the cameras?" I ask weakly, looking around at all of the equipment. Haruka glances at it all as well, considering. "We can't just leave it… can we? One of them may have gotten footage of you, too... And his boat is here..."

I hear dragging in the sand, and I look to see Haruka holding the cameraman tightly by the wrist, pulling him into the water. I feel strange watching him do it, and I almost think to stop him from dragging the man under. All kinds of thoughts swim through my mind; What about his family? A burial? His body will never be found, it will fade into obscurity along with the rest of the disappearances. Can I really accept that?

Then again… Haruka said it best. How is this any different from anyone else? They're strangers. All of them are strangers. I ran away from Iwatobi so that these sorts of things wouldn't matter any longer. I suppose the defining difference is how it happened, and why. Haruka needs to eat. Helping find people for him aids in his survival. I was able to separate moral from reason in order to keep my sanity. What happened here was an act of desperation. A wild urge to silence. It's different.

_You need to clean up the area somehow._ Haruka's voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I notice the body is gone. Haruka must be holding him under; I don't think he's fast enough to have already disposed of him somewhere. Haruka points at one of the cameras. _I can take these things somewhere they can't be found, but the boat might be harder to hide. You may have to leave it here._

"When people come looking for him, what will they think if they find his boat here, abandoned?" I ask uneasily.

_I'm not sure. Humans are unpredictable. If they can't find the body or the equipment, they won't be able to construct any kind of reasoning, so it doesn't matter._

"Okay." I struggle to stand up; it takes me a couple of attempts as my legs feel as though they're filled with lead. I shakily begin to help Haruka take the cameras one by one into the water. Each time he disappears with one of them, he resurfaces a couple of minutes later to take another. During his absences, I clean up the area as thoroughly as I can. After Haruka has taken the last camera he pulls the tackle box - the murder weapon, I realize uncomfortably - into the water as well, washing away all evidence of what I had done.

I wait nervously for him to resurface, and when he does, I drop to my knees by the edge of the water. "Where should we meet from now on?" I ask Haruka worriedly. "I can't risk… coming back here. And neither can you."

Haruka considers my question and finally turns, pointing behind us. Although it's a long ways out, I know he's pointing at the small island just off the coast, a place I've never had any reason to visit. As far as I understand, it's too small to house anyone or anything, only known as a popular summer fishing spot. I've avoided it for this reason, but no one should be there so late at night. Haruka knows the area better than I do, at any rate.

"Okay. I'll come and see you tonight, then."

_Don't leave anything behind._ Haruka reminds me. _Stay around other humans today, ward off suspicion._

My heart racing in my chest, I vaguely wonder if I can hold myself together long enough to masquerade as a normal, happy human. I don't have much of a choice, unfortunately.

Kissing Haruka goodbye, I pick up the last of my things and hurry back to my boat. As I go, I feel I might be sick a second time.

.

.

.

The day goes by excruciatingly slow.

It reminds me of my days in Iwatobi, when each and every day trudged by sluggishly as I waited for night to fall so that I could slip out of my house to visit Haruka. That feeling changed when I began my new life here. Now, I spend my days working towards our life together instead of keeping secrets; I still miss him when we're apart, but it's bearable. Today, I badly need his presence, his reassurance. I need to look at his face and remember that everything's going to be okay.

I follow Haruka's advice and stay out all day, spending more time in the market and around town. Fortunately for me, my clothes are still clean - not a drop of blood to be seen - so I didn't need to change. The man from earlier doesn't seem to be around; now that I've had time to reflect on everything, I realize it would be risky if he saw me walk away from the alley after his earlier phone call. I try not to dwell on that, or _anything_ for that matter, until the sun finally sets and I make for home port. Haruka can help me sort through these troubling thoughts so much better than if I'm on my own.

As I near the docks, I catch sight of flashing red lights and my heart freezes over in my chest. For a wild moment I think to run away, but I steel myself and remember that Haruka disposed of the body and the evidence. There should be nothing to fear. It's much more suspicious if I avoid the docks altogether.

My boat comes into view, and my anxiety intensifies ten-fold when I see that a police boat is parked next to mine, and three officers are standing in front of my retracted gangplank. Without thinking, I pick up my pace and approach them.

"E-excuse me!" I say, gaining the officer's attention. He looks up from his notepad to view me skeptically through the darkness, the lights on the police boat flashing. "This is my boat, what's going on?"

"Yours?" the officer asks, looking over his shoulder. He turns back to me, scratching his brow. "Can I see your permit?"

"Ah, sure…" Trying my hardest not to shake, I pull my wallet from my pocket and produce my permit, handing it to the officer. He looks at it closely, writes something down, and then gives it back to me.

"Were you boating at all today, sir?" the officer asks me stiffly. From the corner of my eye I can see more officers patrolling up and down the docks, and it appears I'm not the only boat owner being spoken to.

"Yes, sir." I answer. It seems like a profoundly poor idea to lie at a time like this. I have to trust that Haruka disposed of everything so completely that there should be no reason to worry.

"About what time was that?" the officer asks, pressing his pen tip against his notepad, "Where did you go, and what were you doing?"

"Let's see… It must have been around eleven in the morning? Noon?" Honestly, I never checked the time when I headed out, so I realize I'm not entirely sure when I left. "I spent a little while fishing near the East docks."

"Did you go alone?"

"I always fish alone, sir." I say with an awkward laugh. "I'm sorry, but… Is everything alright?"

The officer sighs. "Someone has been reported missing. We're questioning anyone and everyone who may have been out on the water today, just to narrow down our search area." He jabbed a thumb over his shoulder at my boat. "It would help a lot if you could give us permission to search your vessel. I understand what an invasion of privacy that is, but it would greatly help."

I almost feel as though I've been given a chance to help clear my name. My mind works fast to think if there's anything that could incriminate me that the officer might find, but I'm positive Haruka took all of it away. Refusing would only arouse unnecessary suspicion, after all.

"Of course, officer. Whatever I can do to help."

.

.

.

The search was fruitless. The officers found nothing, and apologized for wasting my time. Regardless, they grounded all vessels until further notice, banning everyone from boating no matter the reason. If it weren't for the fact that I have a permit to live on my boat, I might not have even been allowed to get back on.

Although I'm relieved they didn't find anything and don't appear to suspect me, the ban on boating has devastated me. I needed to see Haruka. I _promised_ him. The police couldn't even tell me when the ban might be lifted. I'm not sure I can hold together until whenever that might be. I hope Haruka doesn't worry too much or get too impatient in the meantime… It's times like these that I wish I had some other way of communicating with Haruka, like email or a cellphone. Thinking about Haruka with either of those things is ridiculous, but it proves to be an amusing enough thought to distract me from my overwhelming discomfort and help me get to sleep.

.

.

.

The next morning, the cameraman's disappearance is mentioned in the morning news, and it's the talk of the entire town. Kawasaki Ryosuke. Last seen the previous morning, his vacant boat was found off the coastline. The citizens are being encouraged to come forward if they have any information as to his whereabouts. Without being able to see Haruka, the crushing guilt I feel has been eating away at me. I'm having a hard time justifying what I did. My feelings on the matter are jumbled and conflicting, and having no way of sorting them out has pushed me well beyond my limit. I'm trying my hardest not to let it affect my job, but it's a losing battle. My boss has since noticed my distress, and even offered to give me a day off, mistaking my anxiety for illness. I politely declined, assuring him that I'm well. I don't know if I believe that, myself.

The boating ban was lifted after three days, but I swear it felt much longer. I can barely wait for the sun to go down before disembarking, heading for the island Haruka indicated the day of the incident. I pray that he'll be there regardless of how late I am, and I hope he's not angry with me.

Since it's such a popular fishing spot, it's not difficult to find a mooring ball, even in the darkness. Grabbing my flashlight but completely forgetting to bring along dinner, I practically jump onto the beach and immediately begin searching the coastline, looking for anything that looks like a figure. I have no real idea of where I'm supposed to meet Haruka, but I feel too restless to wait around for Haruka to find me. As I walk, shining my flashlight along the edge of the water, I call his name, my heart fluttering quickly in my chest.

A quarter of an hour passes before I slow my search. Thinking rationally, I realize that Haruka would know the sound of my boat, and would likely be able to smell me if I'm nearby. I decide to pace around on the beach near the boat, trying to have confidence in Haruka's ability to find me while combatting troubling thoughts of Haruka being captured by nosy men in dark coats.

Thankfully, I don't have to wait long. I hear a splash and spot movement in the water just next to my boat, and when I shine my flashlight at it, I can see Haruka staring at me intensely from the water, his beautiful luminescent blue eyes dilating in the light.

_Makoto. You're late_.

A relieved sob catches in my throat, and I drop my flashlight in my haste to go to Haruka. I run straight into the water, throwing my arms around his neck. Haruka accepts my embrace, pressing his cold, wet face into my neck.

"I'm sorry!" I say between sobs, the freezing cold water sloshing up to my stomach as I hold him close to me. "They banned all water traffic… I wanted to come, but I couldn't…!"

_I thought so_. Haruka says stoically, kissing my neck. _I've seen only police boats since then. I'm not mad at you, Makoto._

"Still…!" I pull away enough to look into his eyes, holding his face in my hands. "You have no idea how much I missed you… wanted to see you… Not being able to talk about what happened with anyone, it's been... _It's been_..."

Haruka kisses me softly, forcing me to take a breath. When he pulls away he stares into my eyes, immediately calming me.

_Calm down and tell me what's been happening._

.

.

.

I'm glad it's a warm night, since I've had to remove my soaked shirt and pants; they flutter in the gentle night air, drying from the railing of the quarter deck. Haruka and I sit at the edge of the water, Haruka's tail flopping leisurely on the sand. He lays on his stomach, head resting in his hands as he listens to me talk. I fill him in on everything that happened after I left him three days previous, although there isn't much to report. As I suspected, Haruka doesn't seem troubled by any of the news.

_It doesn't sound like the humans suspect you at all_. Haruka says after I'm done. _Why would they? Humans trust you. There is nothing to worry about. They'll never find the body.  
_  
I let out an anxious whine and hold my face in my hands. "I still don't know how I _feel_ about it, Haru-chan. I killed that man. I know you told me it's no different than what we usually do, but I still feel like it is. I feel like I did something terrible…"

Haruka cocks his head at me, a sharp clicking coming from his throat.

_Makoto, why did you end the life of that human? Did you have a reason, or did you do it just because you felt like it?_

"Y-you _know_ why I did it!" I exclaim guiltily. "He saw you! When I realized he saw you, and filmed you, I… I don't know…"

_What? What did you feel?_ Haruka asks me imploringly.

I rub the back of my neck. "I don't know how to say it, really. I felt overwhelmed. Everything went red and I just acted on impulse. All I could think of was that he was going to take you away from me. I couldn't stand the idea of anyone else seeing you, or that footage being broadcast all over the country, or the world. I felt like I had to stop that from happening, no matter what."

_You were protecting me, Makoto_. Haruka says, his words seeping into my brain like a warm, soothing liquid. _You saved me. Without you, I'm not sure what might have happened to me._

"I… saved you?" I repeat softly. That thought hadn't occurred to me. I'd been too caught up in the guilt and the anxiety to think of things so plainly. Never once had I considered my actions heroic. It hadn't _felt_ heroic. Heroic is for knights and righteous protectors who slay villains with swords. It felt more like terror and rage and blood, pulsing and throbbing beneath the surface of my skull like a caged animal.

_Yes. You saved me, because you love me._ Haruka pulls himself up and drags himself in front of me, worming between my legs to kiss my mouth. As we kiss, he continues to speak in my mind. _You love me so much you would kill for me. I love Makoto that much, too._

I recall the other Siren I'd met in Iwatobi that Haruka had saved me from. If Haruka hadn't come when he had, I would have been eaten alive. I remember how it felt to know that Haruka would fight and kill for me, and I realize Haruka might feel the same way. We've both killed our own kind to protect one another. Once I think of it that way, I feel as though a switch has been flipped in my brain. Guilt transforms into passion. Anxiety becomes yearning. I breathe deeply from my nose and kiss Haruka earnestly, sliding my tongue hungrily into his mouth. His sharp nails scratch gently along the sides of my head as his fingers glide through my hair, sending a low, guttural groan into my throat.

We pull apart, our foreheads and noses brushing each other as my chest heaves. I don't know how, but I'm suddenly worked up. My blood is boiling and my desire for Haruka is almost animalistic. Is it because of the relief I feel?

As though he's actively reading my thoughts, Haruka slides a hand down my stomach and cups my budding arousal through my shorts.

" _Ah_ … Haru-chan…" I'm surprised that Haruka is trying to provoke me so early in the year, but I realize Spring has officially come and his heat might yet be returning. The way I'm feeling now, I don't think I could hold back even if I wanted to.

I grab Haruka's arms and push him onto his back, straddling him. He allows it, his beautiful eyes bright and clouded with lust. I stare down at him, this gorgeous creature, this dazzling Siren whom I love. Love enough to kill for. I would do anything for Haruka. I belong to him, but for the first time, I realize I want him to belong to me, too. I don't want anyone to see him because he's mine, and mine alone.

"Haru-chan… I love you…" I say, my voice lower and headier than I had intended. "I love you so much… You're mine, Haru-chan. No one else can have you. I'll protect you no matter what, I swear."

More lively clicking emanates from Haruka's throat and I feel his tail twitch under me. I run my fingers down his chest, treading gently over his gills. My knuckles drag back up his torso, running teasingly over his nipples; he intakes breath sharply, the clicking dulling to a low trill. I've almost forgotten how sensitive his nipples are. I lower my head to his chest and press my tongue against his left bud, licking him slowly. Haruka moans gratefully and tosses his head to the side, fingers once again running through my hair to hold me close. I lick him until I feel his hips begin to shake. My hands trace his sides, his cool, slick skin feeling incredible against mine.

I take his nipple between my teeth and give him the gentlest of bites; Haruka bucks against me, letting out a lovely groan of pleasure. From the way he's moving his bottom underneath me, I can tell he's uncomfortable. He speaks in my mind, confirming my suspicions.

_Makoto… I'm hot. It's so hot… Tingling..._

"Haru-chan…" I kiss him again, overcome with affection. I can't resist him when he acts so needy, so vulnerable… It's a side of Haruka that only I get to see. It's proof of his trust in me.

"Turn on your side, Haru-chan," I ask gently, my cock straining against my swim shorts. Haruka easily obliges, turning to expose his rump. I let out a shallow breath, sliding my hand over his beautiful tail. He shivers as my fingers brush over his moist heat, grabbing handfuls of sand.

"Haru-chan, I haven't even touched you yet, and you're already so wet," I say with a soft chuckle, pressing my middle finger against his slit but decidedly not pushing inside of him. Haruka groans wantonly, his tail swishing impatiently in the sand.

_Makoto…_

I want to give Haruka pleasure. I want him to writhe with desire before I give him what he wants. I want to hear him make all sorts of sounds, I want him to beg… I'm not sure what's come over me, but I feel like I'm overflowing.

I lay behind Haruka, pressing kisses to the back of his neck and shoulders, my finger tracing the outside of his trembling heat. He groans and pushes his rear needily against my hand, trying to drive my fingers inside of him; I deny him every time, teasingly rubbing his slit until even the voice in my head is broken and incoherent.

I finally take pity on him and push a finger inside. His heat immediately sucks me in, hanging on hungrily, wet and unbelievably hot. I almost lose myself and forget that I'm trying to work him up; I can feel my cock leaking in anticipation, pressing uncomfortably against the material of my shorts.

I pump my finger into Haruka, gently nibbling on the back of his neck. Haruka pants and moans, pushing his rear against me, reaching a hand back to fist in my hair.

_More… more…!_

I can't deny him when he asks with a voice so desperate. I shove three more fingers into him, marveling at the musical clicks he releases as a result. His body quakes and heaves, accepting four of my fingers deep inside, sucking on my digits with alarming strength. I curl my fingers just enough to press on those eager inner muscles; Haruka's back bows and he lets out a choking gasp. I kiss him between his shoulder blades, pulling down my shorts with my free hand.

I remove my fingers and slip my stiff cock into Haruka's waiting heat. We groan in time and I hold him tightly against my chest, the feeling of Haruka's inner walls encompassing me almost making me come.

" _Ahh…_ It feels so incredible inside of you Haru-chan... _Incredible…_ So soft and hot _..._ "

Haruka pushes against me, driving me deeper. A shudder runs through me from my hips to my brain, making it difficult to think. Haruka's inner muscles are clenching my dick tightly, his insides pulsing and twitching around me. My head spins. It's been so long since we've made love, I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I pull out and thrust back in. Haruka moans, his tail thrashing. He wants this as much as I do. I might want it _too_ much, in fact; I feel a sudden and intense pressure building in my testicles, almost painful in its tenacity. The last few days have been such an ugly blur of anxiety and fear, I haven't taken any time for my more basic needs. Coupled with the fact that Haruka and I haven't had sex in five months, I realize I may have been more hard-up for this than I originally realized. Unfortunately it also means that I may not last very long. As Haruka eagerly meets my shallow thrusts to drive me deeper into his heat, I feel myself already at my limit.

"Haru-chan... I-I'm already… _Ngh_..." I try and warn him, but he knows; he squeezes down on me ruthlessly and I mindlessly give in to my own needs, holding him tightly against me and pistoning into him with everything I have. I plant myself firmly into him as I come, flooding him with my sperm. Haruka lets out a cry of delight, milking my cock as if his insides were designed to do just that. I hold him tightly, barely feeling his nails dig into my arms, my cock spasming deep inside of him.

Panting, the two of us lay on the beach together in an embrace. I kiss his shoulder and chant his name softly, trying to get my breath back. He turns his head toward me and I incline mine to kiss him, and we do, slowly, passionately; Haruka's rear shifts only slightly and my cock stirs inside of him, still miraculously rock-hard.

I hold Haruka's chin in my hand, looking into his eyes. Something has definitely come over me.

"Haru-chan, I'm sorry… I… need more. I'm no where _near_ finished with you tonight."

Haruka's insides squeeze down on me, coaxing me on.

_Give me as much as you can, then,_ Haruka commands me lustfully, his predatory blue eyes burning into mine.

I grab Haruka's shoulder and turn him over on his stomach, gently pushing his chest into the sand. My cock leaves his heat with a slick pop, his slit tinged pink and slightly swollen with arousal. I straddle him and kiss along his spine, running my hands affectionately over his scaled rump. He shivers under me, accepting me, relenting to me… My heart feels fit to burst.

"I love you so much, Haru-chan…" I groan as I sink back into his swollen heat, my palm pressing into his lower back as I begin slow, meticulous thrusts. Haruka trills earnestly, clawing at the sand. "I promise… _ahh_ , I'll always take care of you. I'll protect you, I'll do anything… _ah… ahh…_ "

I've never felt so possessive before. Haruka had impressed his version of possessiveness on me back in Iwatobi, but I don't feel like I've fully understood how he felt until now. I want him to look only at me, to only accept my touch. It's a feeling that is driving me to frenzy. The incident with the cameraman doesn't seem so horrible anymore. It was necessary. To protect Haruka, I've discovered how far I'm willing to go.

I feel my second load building as Haruka's warmth greedily sucks me in. His tail thrashes and works to rock me into him more deeply.

_M-makoto… You're harder than before… Haahh…_

My brain hazy, I can feel my sweat chilling on my heated skin. _It's because I love Haru-chan so much,_ I think, forgetting to speak out-loud as my pleasure builds and peaks. As I spray my seed into my beloved Haruka a second time, I somehow know that he's heard me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking while writing this chapter that Siren sex is pretty gross, and then I remembered that Sirens are not, in fact, real creatures, and I'm the dirty birdy that came up with all of this crap. And then I felt rather gross myself. ORZ
> 
> Is anyone curious about my Siren reproductive anatomy? I have a whole thing written out about it, I could post it along with the next chapter if you all are interested in knowing all the gross details of the how and why of Haru's business down South. :)


	5. Siren Anatomy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Notes on siren anatomy, reproduction and behavior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not exactly a chapter, sorry! I took a break from writing and I'm starting to slowly get back into the swing of things, but while I'm at it I thought I would post something. I promised this drabble months ago, so without further ado here it is, my notes on Siren anatomy I wrote up when I was first figuring stuff out about Haru. Enjoy!

**Appearance**

* * *

 

Male and female sirens are anatomically very similar. Females lack breasts, and both female and male sirens have nipples, though they serve no purpose other than to more closely resemble humans. Both male and females have sharp, small teeth and hardened claws used for shredding prey quickly and efficiently, specially designed to strip meat from bone. Most sirens have small external spines that begin around the shoulder blades and fade at the base of the spine.

2-4 thin, fleshy appendages protrude from a siren's hip area, serving as lures for smaller fish and additional filters for plant matter. Siren skin color ranges from light, translucent blues to dark purples and greens; skin color relies heavily on what kinds of algae the siren encounters/absorbs in its environment.

**Diet**

* * *

 

Though their digestive system is that of a carnivore, they consume plant bacteria from their environment through their skin and hair. Plant matter doesn't provide them much nutrition, but it helps contribute to fast healing and strong immune systems. A siren who is unable to properly absorb plant matter is the equivalent of a human with a severe vitamin deficiency, and they may be unable to safely digest food or recover from injuries.

 

**Socialization**

* * *

 

Sirens are solitary creatures who rarely fraternize with others for any length of time. They are dependent on their clutch-mates for only the first few months of life, traveling in groups to increase individual chances of survival. Once they are strong enough to survive on their own they go their separate ways. Killing clutch-mates is rare, and as adult sirens typically interact only to mate, siren violence is usually few and far between. As human territory spreads, sirens are forced to fight over territory and occasionally cross paths; these interactions usually end in bloodshed.

 

**Abilities and Strengths**

* * *

 

Sirens can produce a variety of high-frequency sounds that affect delta brain waves, something akin to ESP. With the right frequencies, sirens can suggest a human to do just about anything, but usually they are only interested in luring victims to be eaten. Their power over humans is similar to mind-control. The interference within the human brain manifests as something the human is familiar with, usually a song or a voice. This ability is only effective on humans.

Siren's have no formal language, and rely on information from human minds to fill in the language gaps.

Physically sirens are generally much stronger than humans. Their ability to rapidly heal and their incredibly dense skeletal structure makes them difficult to harm and practically impossible to combat when they're in their element. Get them on land, though, and they become a little more susceptible the longer they're without water.

 

**Sexual Reproduction**

* * *

 

Females have a deep vagina below their navel, typically hidden by flaps of skin and only visible when she is in heat, at which time it becomes swollen. Males have retractable humanoid penises in the same spot, typically the color of their skin/scales if not darker. They range in size and potency and lack testicles, thick around the base and slick at the tip, less bulbous than a human's. Their appendages are thick and usually have a deep seam trailing up the middle.

Sirens are more closely related to fish than they are mammals, and do not give live birth. A female can lay anywhere from 200 to 600 eggs in a single clutch, though 98% of them are unlikely to hatch. The female will lay eggs whether or not they are fertilized.

Females go into heat in mid to late Spring. Males experience heat earlier in the year, and will begin seeking females in early Spring. This difference is because of climate changes and the fact that sirens are so widespread in the modern world, unable to sync. Because of this, males have evolved to have a pseudo-vagina that exists under the anus. Males are drawn to each other in the same way and will mate with other males until the females are ready to be fertilized. Because of this, males have adapted an 'alpha/omega' sort of relationship during this window of time, with the more potent males taking the role of alpha and seeking out less dominant males to relieve their urges.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I based Siren behavior on crayfish, since I had crayfish at the time and watched them a lot, hypnotized by their habits. They're basically little shelled sociopaths.
> 
> Sorry for the long hiatus. I lost my desire to write for quite some time, and was having a real difficult time motivating myself to do anything other than play video games. I've missed writing, though, and I'm really working to pull myself out of whatever this is. So I thought I would post a little something to let you all know that I'm still here, I'm still trying, and hopefully soon you'll be seeing a new chapter. :)


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